Presents for imaginary boys

So it's my imaginary boyfriend's birthday! He's *super* lucky to have me, bcause I'm uber thoughtful, kind, witty, intelligent, a great cook, creative, sometimes-independent-and-sometimes-endearingly-clumsy, fun-to-be-with, charming, great with parents, dogs and old people and most importantly, modest. I tick all kinds of boxes, if only you can push past the slight aura of weird that constantly surrounds me. Luckily, my imaginary boyfriend has achieved this zen-like state and he reaps the rewards at regular intervals (sometimes three times a night!).

To celebrate both his superhuman powers of indulging me patiently and the day of his birth, I've chosen a few trinkets to make him feel generally cherished and adored. Because he doesn't technically exist, my budget is completely unlimited, which is handy for not only making me look like an ace girlfriend, but also for the purposes of a blog post, wouldn't you say? Here goes nothin'.

For my imaginary boyfriend's study, I sourced him this limited edition Terry Pastor (oh, you know, the guy who did the cover art on Ziggy Stardust and Hunky Dory) Rayguns print from Pedlars. There's only 195 in the entire world and consequently I'm forking out £495 smackers for it plus postage, but my beau is totally worth it.

As soon as I saw this 1940s vintage Raeths 12" black slated globe, I knew he'd appreciate it.  Just like me, he loves a nice bit of vintage, but he has an especial liking for things of a military bent. Plus, because it's constructed from a handy slate material, I can use it to leave him endless endearing little notes such as 'I love you' and 'If you make me a cup of tea, I'll be the bestest girlfriend in the whole wide world for the entirity of today.' I'm not even going to tell you how much it costs, because it is of very little consequence for something so perfect. Okay it's £695. But what price are you trying to put on love and happiness? On the shining, joyful eyes of my grateful imaginary boyfriend?

Lastly, I was mooching around on Brighton Pod - you know, that awesomely fabulous online shop that supports UK artists? I've chatted about them before here - and I spotted something that is just the pièce de résistance. Get ready for it. This chair has been everso cleverly reupholstered by Kelly Swallow using a selection of rugby shirts! The Rugby Shirt Chair costs £1,200 and is made to order, so the one you receive (should you also be purchasing one for your imaginary boyfriend) will be unique.

Oh, Imag-Boyf is going to love kicking back on this in his snug, watching some sports, perhaps casually puffing on a bubble pipe, sipping a G&T whilst Fritz frolicks gaily on the hearth. I might even come perch on his knee for a bit and feed him some homemade tiffin bars and give him some kisses. But not for too long, because I don't cope well with the television getting more attention than me and I really can't be expected to pretend to be interested in sports for an extended period of time. Just sayin'.