Blingphones!

So, this isn't actually anything to do with anything crafty or my photography. It's to do with sheer excitement, and, I will happily admit, pure loserdom. I have a reputation for being a bit of a magpie. The truth is, if it's shiny or sparkly, I totally want it. I try, really hard, not to like things that everyone else thinks are tacky, but you know what? I come from a long line of women who get dazzled by sparklies.

My Nana Rose recently gave me two false nails which she used to wear in the early eighties, sort of like an heirloom, now, surely you think, um, sick, why keep falsies? Because they're made out of GOLD BABY, ACTUAL GOLD. Yes. And I love them, as tacky and weird as they are. They go on your little fingernails. When I wear them, I feel like like an extra in Dynasty and I love it. She once gave me this amazing waist belt with faux gold jaguars on the clasp, with RUBIES for eyes (also faux, but goddamn!). She also has loads of those sparkly brooches in the shapes of animals. At this point I need to be very clear. Nana Rose does not have one of those terrible clown necklaces gracing the necks of chavs everywhere (which, incidentally are horrifically expensive) Nana has style. And panache. And my Mother, dearest Rosebud, she also loves the sequins. She has a mermaidesque ball gown covered in sequins (which I borrowed for a first year uni ball and lost half the sequins riding the mechanical bull...shh, don't tell her), and about a million sequined shoes and tops and those cardigans with the sparkly thread that are a bit scratchy to wear but totally worth it when you stand near a light source. I also own about a dozen sequined tops with massive shoulder pads because I LIKE to look like a Christmas bauble from 1987. One of my best friends Holly had to stay my hand with very firm words at the weekend, because French Connection had a sale on, and they were selling that dress and I wanted it.

I coveted it. I needed it. But Holly said no, and she is generally right, plus it was £250. But not always thank the lord. Anyway, to get to the point, if it's sparkly and gold, I want it. And, whilst casually browsing Wilkinsons yesterday for tracing paper (why doesn't anybody sell tracing paper these days? So annoying. I did find some in Hobbycraft eventually but it cost £4.95! Ouch!), I found myself amongst the stationery (another slightly sad obsession of mine. Swap you a Sharpie for just about anything) and I happened to gaze up on the top shelf and my wandering eyes came upon the holy grail....

BLINGPHONES. Gold earphones with diamantes in them. They took my breath away. Who even imagined that for a mere £9.95, you too could PIMP your ipod? Who knew that you could happen upon such complete tack on the way to find tracing paper? The universe works in mysterious ways. It brought me to them. It was the universal law of attraction. Naturally, I had to buy them. I haven't told Holly yet. I don't think she'll approve. I showed them to some men in the pub last night and their eyes bulged with sheer incredulity. There were mutters of 'women' and gasps of disapproval. But then they were distracted by how much stuff I could fit in my handbag...classic deflection move. Works every time!