Mactastic

Do you remember a TV show from the late 80s/early 90s which involved this annoying little Canadian girl called Ramona? I can vaguely remember this irksome child having an absolute whale, splashing about in a puddle wearing this groovy little yellow PVC mac with a hat to match, and red wellies too in the opening credits. I hated that show. I hated Ramona. But I really, really wanted her yellow mac. Maybe my beef with Ramona was all down to a fairly standard case of green-eyed monsterism.

Well, time has flown by, television programs have come and gone from my life, but as it turns out, the desire to be the owner of a yellow PVC mac has not dissipated one iota.

ENTER JOY [stage left] and the Louche Bettina PVC Hooded Mac for the not offensive price of £59*.

Look how shiny it is.

This would be an ideal way for me to wreak revenge as an adult on that obnoxious little twerp Ramona. Now I am in charge of my own wardrobe budget, I can absolutely purchase myself a yellow PVC Mac, and NOBODY CAN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

*Just in case you were wondering if £59 is a good price for a yellow mac, I did a bit of research Googled it and found this cheeky number on Justers Fetishworld (please do not click on this link if you are of a delicate disposition or at work and value your position of employment) for £61.59 and then this gorgeous Aquascutum number on sale at John Lewis for a trifling £225. As I have not a trifling £225 to spare and don't wish to receive packages with a Fetishworld return address on them, I think the JOY option is the one for me. 

I originally wrote this post for About Your Dress Blog, you can still find it amongst heaps of other posts by me and two other talented ladies there if you'd like to go and have a peek.

Brogue bliss

Brogues, brogues, brogues. I know they're all the rage now and maybe in four years we'll all look back and think 'what was I THINKING with those man shoes?' but I love them. I *just* love 'em. They look so sophisticated, daring and just really flipping cool. That's right, I said flipping. 

When I see a pair of brogues that I want, I usually imagine myself wearing them as an extra in Bugsy Malone, casually lounging around Fat Sam's, chewing on a lollipop with my hands in my pockets, ready to splurge gun down any one of you suckers that dares to cross me. I've got a bit of a mean look on my face, like I'm sucking my teeth or something. Sigh. I feel like I'm cool in that little fantasy. So the new season shoes at ASOS, which feature a disgustingly high amount of beautiful brogues that I want to purchase and pretend to be an extra in Bugsy Malone in, have serious designs on the contents of my purse. Or rather, my credit card.  So now my friends, listen to what I'm telling you and listen good. These are the shoes of dreamland.

Look at the state of these Pieces Roska low heel brogues. Grey suede, with a fetching little cuban heel...£35. £35? Yes, £35. They're amazeballs. I think they'd look nice with a mini-skirt and 15 denier tights. Or really thick black tights. Or with some Bugsy Malone style baggy trousers and some braces...

I love this next pair of ASOS MARKY suede traditional brogues. Just £35 spons again and ohmygodlookhowgreentheyare! Is this too Irish? Too Leprechaun? Too Nommie-It's-Not-St-Patrick's-Day? I don't know. I can't decide. Sometimes ASOS has the TK Maxx effect, where you've been looking through so many clothes for so long and your sugar levels are so low and the good bargains are all jumbled up with the bad and you get a little bit hysterical and crazy and come out having spent £120 with a great belt, a good pair of shoes, a nice bag and a zebra print jumpsuit*, thinking DAMN I'm gonna look fabulous tonight!' when actually you just look mental. 

If you like the crazy colour, but you're not down with the suede, these also come in hot pink patent leather and black patent leather (this takes me back to primary school, in a GOOD way). The bright pink is a bit too much for me. It makes me think simultaneously about Pepto Bismol and Rampant Rabbits. And that's just not a very nice mental combo.

And now for the grand finale. These have to come last because the name of the shoe takes a lot of typing concentration, especially after two cans of Strongbow...the Melissa & A Herchcovitch Joy II brogues come in at £60, which, if I'm honest, is more what I'd expect to pay for a good shoe with all of the detailing that goes into a brogue. I mean I'd be shoesy - sorry, choosy - about what shoes I'd pay £60 for, but I'd feel confident that I was getting something that was quality for that price. I heart these so much they get two pictures.

Again with the cuban heel influence! Adds a little bit of leverage, makes the calves look toned, still allows you to feel smart. I honestly can't get enough of black patent leather either. It's so shiny and black and sexy. Those friendly curved toes will make me smile when I gaze down at them. And don't get me started on the perforations. Masterful. This has got to be my shoe of choice, for July at the very least. Might even stretch into September, who knows.

*The zebra print jumpsuit from TK Maxx happened to me. There are a bunch of pictures of me on a beach in Wales on Facebook in it, looking more sheepish than fierce. I also recently tried to wear it at a Naming Ceremony. Both times I've worn it outside the safe zone of my mother's house and a changing room, I've died a little inside.

I originally wrote this post for About Your Dress Blog, you can still find it amongst heaps of other posts by me and two other talented ladies there if you'd like to go and have a peek.

Retro swimwear

In February I made a promise to myself. I told myself that this year would be the year of the bikini for Le Nom, that for the first time ever I would kick my ass (actually, I have no quibbles with my ass, it's the tummy area that I'm not speaking to) into a bikini-worthy shape and parade around scantily-clad loving myself to the max.

It's now late June. I've been forgoing a social life for ridiculous amounts of exercise involving numerous squats and 6am bootcamp-style classes in parks across London, so my body isn't in a shape which makes me want to scream, but I won't be wearing a bikini on a beach this year. This is partly because I have no beach holidays booked and partly because I have discovered this:

This navy polka dot layered swimsuit is simply scrumptious. The fifties-inspired design is super flattering and means that if people are looking at you on the beach it's only because you look incredibly different from everyone else (that's a good thing!). This would look great with a huge pair of sunnies, a little headscarf or a giant staw hat and a 99 with a Flake. Modesty is underrated anyway.

The swimsuit costs £40 from Laura Ashley. I'll be buying this and changing my name to Dita. Or Marilyn. Actually, I like Nom, so I'll just stick with that.

I originally wrote this post for About Your Dress Blog, you can still find it amongst heaps of other posts by me and two other talented ladies there if you'd like to go and have a peek.