Cooler than carbonite, kids

There was a time in my (as you're about to discover) misspent youth, that I would idle away my lonely hours in Forbidden Planet, looking at comic books and pining after over-priced toys. Despite the fact that any geek worth their salt will pinch the bridge of their nose and scream in your face 'THEY'RE NOT TOYS! THEY'RE MOVIE MEMORABILIA/ACTION FIGURINES/COLLECTIBLES', they are, actually just toys. Toys for grown ups. Deal with it. I have.

I stopped going to Forbidden Planet because a. I was never given pocket money and b. although I know I dazzle you on a weekly basis with my charm, wit and intelligence, I'm simply not intense enough to be classed as an actual geek, so I got totally bored of having conversations with people who just *have* to prove a point, even if it's over an incredibly minor footnote in the history of The Marvel Universe.

So it's not surprising that I've entirely missed the boat on this Star Wars Han Solo ice cube tray, which costs £8.99:

Now, I know I said that I gave up on the quest to become a genuine geek, due to commitment phobia, lack of funds and unacceptable dress-sense, but when my twitter pal @marcusgalley hooked me up to a link with this, I got ridiculously overexcited. So excited, a little bit of wee came out.*

Look at poor Han! He's DROWNING! Nooooooooo!

Now, I'm hoping that you all get why this is great, but in case you're too young to have seen any Star Wars films prior to Episode I, this product makes a most amusing gift for the true Star Wars Enthusiast, because in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (which is arguably the greatest of the Trilogy, but I do like a bit of the old Episode IV: A New Hope, particularly the bit with The Cantina Band, which is my ringtone, incidentally), Darth Vader forces Solo's old Frenemy Lando Calrissian to trick him into chilling out for a bit in Cloud City, where Vader imprisons Solo in carbonite and turns him over to the faceless and mysterious bounty hunter, Boba Fett (I know, isn't his name awesome?) who sells Solo's ass without a second thought to slimy, slug-like kingpin, Jabba the Hutt. It's a particularly poignant moment in the film, because *just* as Solo is about to be encapsulated (and no-one really knows if he will even survive the carbonisation process - it's never been tested), Princess Leia finally tells him she loves him, after much sexual tension and bickering has been played out on screen. Like I said, it's a VERY POIGNANT MOMENT FOR STAR WARS FANS. This is what Han Solo looks like in the film when he's all carbonised and shiz:

I know, right? Travelling across the galaxy this way makes Sleazy-Jet look like a dream.

In short, this is seven types of awesome and if you buy it for a Star Wars fan, they'll appreciate it massively. Unless they have already been given fifteen of them. If you don't feel comfortable going into Forbidden Planet, you can always buy online, or you could just make them a Han Solo Trapped In Carbonite Cake.

*Actually that's hyperbole, I'm a fully and happily continent member of society peeps. So please don't spam me with offers of Tena Lady.

I originally wrote this post for About Your Dress Blog, you can still find it amongst heaps of other posts by me and two other talented ladies there if you'd like to go and have a peek.

Fan art by Liam Brazier

I'm writing this post, even though I'm a little bit frightened (and strangely excited) that any moment now, fifteen massive men wearing full SWAT gear are going to break through all the entrances to my house screaming, shine a torch in my eyes and bundle me into a van never to be seen again under the express instruction of George Lucas' copyright infringement scary badass legal collective. But you know what I'd say to them as they broke my typing fingers (yes, I'm a two finger typer. I know, it's totally messed up. But I'm still fast. I get on just fine with my two indexes, I'm just like the rest of you, I don't need no special treatment)? I'd say, in what I imagine to be a liberal accent:

"You can't suppress talent dude! The MAN George Lucas, May Peace Be Upon Him, is wrong to like, try and put financial boundaries on creativity dude! You can't OWN creativity brother! PEACE! We're spreading the message man, it's fear that stops you from sharing the magic. And we all know about fear man, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering..."

Then probably one of them would kick me in the ovaries and I'd pass out and that would be the end of my story because it's getting a bit weird now, but anyway I really like these prints!

They're totally freaking awesome. Okay so maybe not all (or any) of you are fans of Star Wars, but Liam Brazier has managed to transform C-3PO, helping him to transcend his robotic nature and providing him with an elegant sense of dignity (and C-3PO is not an elegant character, he's *just* annoying).  He's lent the humble Stormtrooper a sense of ethereal gravitas; no longer just a clone, but a complex, fragmented, 3-dimensional character worthy of his own portrait, his own place on the mantle. The gloomy depths of the Bounty Hunter's helmet stare boldly into the eyes of the Viewer, daring us to gaze for a moment into the abyss. Okay so I'm borrowing heavily from my A-Level Art essays now, but seriously, I think these are ace and if you know anyone else who likes Star Wars, they probably will too.

Good old Liam is selling giclee prints of these bad boys at his inPRNT shop in various sizes, 12 x 18 inches for $20 and 18 x 24 inches for $40. They're on 100% cotton rag archival paper, which might not mean anything to you, but let me tell you as a photographer, it's blooming expensive and it basically means it will last forever (well, about 300 years actually, if kept in the right conditions).

It's not just Star Wars though...look, Superman too!

Probably best that we all buy these before George Lucas uses the force of his legal team to have him executed, because then they'll be worth four bajillion times the price you can buy them for now!

I originally wrote this post for About Your Dress Blog, you can still find it amongst heaps of other posts by me and two other talented ladies there if you'd like to go and have a peek.